50 of DJ Khaled’s Funny Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

DJ Khaled is not just a music mogul; he’s a master of memorable one-liners that are equal parts motivational and hilarious. His larger-than-life personality shines through in his unique quotes that have become iconic in pop culture. Whether he’s dropping his famous “major keys” to success or sharing over-the-top takes on everyday life, his words always leave an impression.

If you’re looking for a mix of humor and inspiration, DJ Khaled’s funny quotes are guaranteed to make you laugh while reminding you to keep winning. Let’s dive into some of his most entertaining and unforgettable gems.

Quotes About Success and Winning

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DJ Khaled’s relentless focus on success comes with hilarious and memorable one-liners. These quotes blend humor with his signature motivational style, proving that winning is not just a goal but a way of life. Whether you’re chasing dreams or laughing along, these quotes deliver the perfect mix of inspiration and entertainment.

1. “They don’t want you to win, so you know what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna win more.”
2. “When you stop making excuses and you work hard and go hard, you will be very successful.”
3. “Another one! Because one success is never enough.”
4. “We the best! That’s not just a statement—it’s a way of life.”
5. “Don’t ever play yourself. The key is to always win.”
6. “Surround yourself with winners. Losers rub off.”
7. “You smart. You loyal. You grateful. I appreciate that.”
8. “They’ll try to close the door on you. Just open it back up.”
9. “Keep hustling. You’ll never run out of blessings to count.”
10. “We don’t just win—we win consistently. That’s a major key.”

Quotes About Food and Self-Care

When it comes to food and self-care, DJ Khaled doesn’t hold back. His quotes about eating well and staying blessed are as funny as they are relatable. From his love of snacks to his focus on balance, these quotes show how he turns everyday habits into comedic wisdom.

1. “Egg whites, turkey sausage, wheat toast—water. That’s what greatness eats.”
2. “I changed… a lot. But I still eat a lot. Just better stuff now.”
3. “I’m on a new diet. It’s called, ‘Don’t play yourself.’”
4. “The key to success is to never be hungry. Stay blessed. Stay fed.”
5. “I’m all about ‘clothes fit better now,’ but don’t mess with my cinnamon rolls.”
6. “I didn’t go to the gym to be small. I’m still big—big heart, big energy.”
7. “Take care of yourself. Eat good. Look good. Feel good.”
8. “Some people skip meals. I skip negativity. That’s my vibe.”
9. “Water is a major key. Also, I love water with lemon.”
10. “They said I couldn’t eat another piece of pie. Guess what? I ate it.”

Quotes About Positivity and “Major Keys”

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DJ Khaled’s “major keys” are a hilarious mix of over-the-top optimism and genuine inspiration. These quotes encourage you to stay positive, celebrate life, and embrace confidence—all with a humorous twist that only Khaled can deliver. They’re proof that positivity can be both uplifting and laugh-out-loud funny.

1. “You gotta water your plants. No water, no life. That’s a major key.”
2. “Bless up! Every morning, every day, we blessed.”
3. “You’re a major key to your own success. Unlock that door.”
4. “Smile. It confuses the haters.”
5. “Celebrate your wins, big or small. That’s how you keep the energy high.”
6. “Every setback is a setup for a major comeback.”
7. “The minute you give up, they win. So don’t ever give up.”
8. “The key to success is to keep your head high, no matter what.”
9. “Life is like a staircase. Take it step by step, but keep climbing.”
10. “Always stay focused. Lions don’t lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.”

Quotes About His Lifestyle

Living large is DJ Khaled’s mantra, and his quotes about his luxurious lifestyle are as bold and humorous as you’d expect. From bragging about his cars to joking about his son’s sneaker collection, these quotes show Khaled’s ability to turn extravagance into comedy gold.

1. “They say, ‘You’re so extra.’ I say, ‘You’re so basic.’”
2. “Why have one car when you can have a garage full of blessings?”
3. “I don’t take days off because my blessings don’t take days off.”
4. “I don’t just live; I live major.”
5. “My son has more sneakers than your favorite rapper.”
6. “They told me I couldn’t be this fly. Now look at me—jet life!”
7. “I don’t wear watches to tell time. I wear them to tell my success.”
8. “I don’t even drive. I just ride in blessings.”
9. “You see the chains, the rings, the mansion? That’s gratitude in gold.”
10. “I’m not just on the road to success. I paved it.”

Quotes That Became Internet Memes

Some of DJ Khaled’s funniest quotes have taken on a life of their own, becoming viral memes. These iconic lines capture his larger-than-life personality and have cemented his place as a cultural phenomenon. They’re as funny now as they were the first time you heard them.

1. “Another one.”
2. “They don’t want you to have a pool. So I got a pool… and another pool.”
3. “Lion! You see that? That’s me. I’m a lion.”
4. “You played yourself. Congratulations.”
5. “Don’t ever play yourself. That’s the key to everything.”
6. “They don’t want you to jet ski. But guess what? I jet ski every day.”
7. “Major key alert: Keep your surroundings tight. And your Wi-Fi password tighter.”
8. “I’m the best at being humble. That’s a major key.”
9. “The key is to stay away from they.”
10. “You see this coconut? It’s life. That’s what success tastes like.”